Screaming room

Need to vent your frustrations somewhere? Shout it out here.

Bring back having an off day bring back being irrational bring back confrontation bring back being out of place in public bring back being mildly rude because you are learning how to defy social anxiety bring back being overtly, uncomfortably queer bring back autism bring back anger bring back disliking people for no discernible reasons you are animal people not robots we are the animal people eat dirt yell throw things rebel fuck sanitization fuck santization fuck sanitization fuck sanitization

this year i sat in the school ball committee and thats all well and good and a lot of thankless work which is frustrating on its own but then the photographer bailed on us !!!!! during the ball !!!!! with no explanationj !!!! and i was the only one left with a good camera and now i'm sitting here with 300 pictures that need editing and adjusting and sorting and people are expecting these pictures but it's so much work and i'm not even getting paid or thanked and it's not even my job and it makes me SO FRSUTRATED

I HATE my day job.
I'm so F<'*>;% bored. I'd rather get paid 60k less to do something meaningful, but that's not an option where I am. Can't get a job around here and change careers without 10yrs experience in the new field.
Capitalism sucks.

Well... I just dropped all the courses I planned on taking.

I was bound for college (community college, because I couldn't afford any others) but... I wasn't able to get financial aid in time, so I dropped my courses. I'll have to wait until some other time if ever. On one hand I know this was the best choice in the end but I'm so disappointed in myself. All of my friends and irl acquaintences keep talking about their move-in dates and that they're taking classes soon if not already. I want to be happy for them, but I struggle to. I struggle because my parents and everyone in my life has suffocated me with expectations to go to college, and were already kinda disappointed I was considering community college. I shouldn't care about what they think but it's so ingrained in me at this point. I am a failure, to them and to myself.

The worst part is the reason. My grandma (who was very important to me) died, and we've been taking care of everything related to that. As a result I didn't have anyone to help me figure out financial aid and I was struggling to by myself. It was getting closer and closer to the deadline so I had to cut it off. I've been overwhelmed with grieving, stress, and depression for the past week. I just want to scream and bite something... I'm exhausted.

MumiMoondrops wrote:

Well... I just dropped all the courses I planned on taking.

I was bound for college (community college, because I couldn't afford any others) but... I wasn't able to get financial aid in time, so I dropped my courses. I'll have to wait until some other time if ever. On one hand I know this was the best choice in the end but I'm so disappointed in myself. All of my friends and irl acquaintences keep talking about their move-in dates and that they're taking classes soon if not already. I want to be happy for them, but I struggle to. I struggle because my parents and everyone in my life has suffocated me with expectations to go to college, and were already kinda disappointed I was considering community college. I shouldn't care about what they think but it's so ingrained in me at this point. I am a failure, to them and to myself.

The worst part is the reason. My grandma (who was very important to me) died, and we've been taking care of everything related to that. As a result I didn't have anyone to help me figure out financial aid and I was struggling to by myself. It was getting closer and closer to the deadline so I had to cut it off. I've been overwhelmed with grieving, stress, and depression for the past week. I just want to scream and bite something... I'm exhausted.

Your worth is not based on getting into college or not. You've just hit a rough patch and you will get back on your feet again. maybe not this semester, maybe not next, but if you still want into college, this isn't the end of it. Take the time you need to grieve now and when you feel like you can pick things up again, start doing so. You have time. You did the right thing to give yourself that time. Try not to be so hard on yourself over it.
I'm sorry for your loss. *hugs*